I read the following post a few years ago and it really resonated with me. I am so guilty of becoming frustrated with my daughter when her behavior appears to be disrespectful when it is actually her way of communicating that she in fact needs me.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Please stick with me.

I can’t think clearly right now because there is a rather substantial section of my prefrontal cortex missing. It’s a fairly important chunk, something having to do with rational thought. You see, it won’t be fully developed until I’m about 25. And from where I sit, 25 seems a long way off.

It doesn’t matter that I’m smart; even a perfect score on my math SAT doesn’t insulate me from the normal developmental stages that we all go through. Judgement and intelligence are two completely distinct things.

And, the same thing that makes my brain wonderfully flexible, creative and sponge-like also makes me impulsive. Not necessarily reckless or negligent but more impulsive than I will be later in life.

Please stick with me.

So when you look at me like I have ten heads after I’ve done something “stupid” or failed to do something “smart,” you’re not really helping.

You adults respond to situations with your prefrontal cortex (rationally) but I am more inclined to respond with my amygdala (emotionally). And when you ask, “What were you thinking?” the answer is I wasn’t, at least not in the way you are. You can blame me, or you can blame mother nature, but either way, it is what it is.

At this point in my life, I get that you love me, but my friends are my everything. Please understand that. Right now I choose my friends, but, don’t be fooled, I am watching you. Carefully.

Please stick with me.

Here’s what you can do for me

1. Model adulting.

I see all the behaviors that you are modeling and I hear all of the words you say. I may not listen but I do hear you. I seem impervious to your advice, like I’m wearing a Kevlar vest but your actions and words are penetrating. I promise. If you keep showing me the way, I will follow even if I detour many, many times before we reach our destination.

2. Let me figure things out for myself.

If you allow me to experience the consequences of my own actions I will learn from them. Please give me a little bit of leash and let me know that I can figure things out for myself. The more I do, the more confidence and resilience I will develop.

3. Tell me about you.

I want you to tell me all the stories of the crazy things you did as a teen, and what you learned from them. Then give me the space to do the same.

4. Help me with perspective.

Keep reminding me of the big picture. I will roll my eyes at you and make all kinds of grunt-like sounds. I will let you know in no uncertain terms that you can’t possibly understand any of what I’m going through. But I’m listening. I really am. It’s hard for me to see anything beyond the weeds that I am currently mired in. Help me scan out and focus on the long view. Remind me that this moment will pass.

5. Keep me safe.

Please remind me that drugs and driving don’t mix. Keep telling me that you will bail me out of any dangerous situation, no anger, no lectures, no questions asked. But also let me know over and over and over that you are there to listen, when I need you.

6. Be kind.

I will learn kindness from you and if you are relentless in your kindness to me, someday I will imitate that behavior. Don’t ever mock me, please and don’t be cruel. Humor me-I think I know everything. You probably did as well at my age. Let it go.

7. Show interest in the things I enjoy.

Some days I will choose to share my interests with you, and it will make me feel good if you validate those interests, by at least acting interested.

One day when the haze of adolescence lifts, you will find a confident, strong, competent, kind adult where a surly teenager once stood. In the meantime, buckle in for the ride.

Please stick with me.

I am personally going to make every effort to pause and remember that my child is just trying to navigate her way through this time in her life. I will do my best to lean into her with love, patience and so much grace.

As always, don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or concerns.

Kindly,

Kim

314.645.9600 (607)~kwright@premiercharterschool.org

Middle School Newspaper:

One of our pathways classes is newspaper. Please take a minute to read it!!!

NEWSLETTER

UPCOMING EVENTS

December 16-PCG Breakfast
December 20- January 3 Winter Break
January 3- School Resumes
January 4- End of Quarter 2
January 8- Board Meeting
January 15-No School
January 25- Intruder Drill
January 26- No School
February 15- Tornado Drill
February 16 & 17- No School

Drop Off Reminder:

Now that we are a few weeks into the school year, we wanted to reiterate that our morning drop off process does not begin until 8:00 am. Our morning duty staff are not outside to supervise drop off until 8:00 am. In the interest of student safety, please do not leave your child(ren) unsupervised before morning duty begins.

We recently revised our late pick up policy because of an increase in students being picked up after our dismissal ends at 3:35. We also have a significant number of unsupervised children in the morning and would like to avoid an additional revision of our drop off/pick up policy. We appreciate your support in this matter as we work to keep all of our students safe.

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Kim Wright M.Ed. LPC, RPT

Middle School Principal

Supporting the curious and empowered learner since 2000

National School of Character